Is death an ending or a new beginning?
Death – Poetry - Grief
It’s only January 15 and I’m talking about death and grief…AGAIN? Shouldn’t I be talking about resolutions and getting in shape and dry January? It’s true those things are important and helpful, but my mind has been elsewhere the past couple of months.
In my December 15 email, Uncharted Territory, I mentioned that my biological father took his journey to the other side at the beginning of November. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine told me she has a brain tumor (hopefully benign). A few days ago, I found out a friend’s wife’s cancer has returned with a vengeance and there is nothing to do but love her through these last few days/weeks.
Some of you may be in similar situations…surrounded by people who are sick and/or dying.
Add to that the wars that are in the news and top-of-mind AND the upcoming presidential election (if you are in the US). Could 2024 be the death of democracy (as some fear)? I know if I consume too much news in this election year, it will certainly be the death of my sanity.
Death is all around us and with it comes grief, to varying degrees. When you’re witnessing or experiencing so much death and grief, it’s normal to wonder…in the grand scheme of things, is dry January really that important? I think yes, but why I think yes is a longer conversation and I don’t want this email to be THAT long.
My question is this: Amid deep suffering, how do we stay engaged with the world and maintain our empathy AND enthusiastically work towards our goals, however trivial they may seem to others?
Here’s my take…
As the image at the beginning of this email suggests, I think living a life of purpose includes beauty, connection, and community. For me, the things that bring beauty into my life are things that tickle me silly or feed my soul.
That’s where poetry comes in. A good poet can take a small number of words and arrange them in a way that hits the depths of your soul so deeply and profoundly it knocks you to your knees (in a good way, of course).
I’ve come across two poems, recently, both about death that have deeply touched me. They’ve given me pause. They’ve brought up tears. They’ve touched my soul in a way that fills my heart with grief and love. They remind me that alongside death and grief, there can be beauty and connection and community and that those things are deeply important. Those are the things that birth the love and compassion and empathy needed to heal hatred and division and trauma.
The first poem is called, LOVE LETTER FROM THE AFTERLIFE, by Andrea Gibson (@andreagibson).
This link will take you to her IG where you can read it and there is an option in her bio to hear her speak it.
You may have read this second poem by Refaat Alareer, an academic and poet who was killed on December 7, 2023, at the age of 45, by Israeli forces. I first read it in an opinion piece in The Washington Post titled, When they come for the poets.
Alareer published this poem just over a month before he was killed:
If I must die,
you must live
to tell my story
to sell my things
to buy a piece of cloth
and some strings,
(make it white with a long tail)
so that a child, somewhere in Gaza
while looking heaven in the eye
awaiting his dad who left in a blaze —
and bid no one farewell
not even to his flesh
not even to himself —
sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above
and thinks for a moment an angel is there
bringing back love
If I must die
let it bring hope
let it be a tale
May you find the things that feed your soul and fill your life with beauty and connection and community so that YOUR life of purpose can join the larger tide that will wash away hatred and division.
