The Gratitude Boomerang: How receiving appreciation is a gift to the giver

A New Ritual for 2024

Many of us end the year by reflecting on what we are grateful for from this past year and what we hope for in the new year.

Experts, including Brene Brown, talk about the importance of gratitude and encourage us to have a “gratitude practice” – which leads to more joy in one’s life. No arguing with that; I’ve experienced it firsthand.

But what about RECEIVING gratitude and appreciation from others? Not many people talk about what a gift that is, for both the receiver and the giver.

There is a beautiful short story in the book Ordinary Sacred: The Simple Beauty of Everyday Life by Kent Nerburn, that illustrates this point. The story is called “The Visit” and it’s about a young kid who asks a man for some spare change so he can get something to eat. The man checks his pockets – no change. He opens his wallet and all he has is a ten-pound note (almost twenty dollars). From the book…

He was watching intently. By looking for change I had given wings to his hope.
Against all my instincts and desires, I pulled out the ten and gave it to him. He looked at it with astonishment and thankfulness.
"Oh, Jeez, thank you, sir," he said. "You didn't need to ---"
I waved him off. "You don't need to thank me," I said. "Just pass it on when you get a chance."
But the young man persisted. "No," he said. "I need to thank you. You have to let me thank you. It's all I have to give you in return."

Every time I read this story it brings tears to my eyes. Some of us are so good at giving, but we have a hard time receiving the gift of thanks. And in refusing to joyfully receive appreciation from others, we deny them the joy of giving.

It’s a small thing to say, “thank you.” Sometimes that’s all someone has to give. It’s a huge gift to graciously receive it.

So, by all means, let’s continue to BE grateful for all the wonderful things in our life. And let’s start a new practice of joyfully receiving the appreciation others offer to us.

RESOURCE

Ordinary Sacred is a small book and it’s well worth your time.