Lent 2022 - Week 1 Friday

Shame is when someone mistreats us and we make it about us.

Shame is: Thinking something’s wrong with you because someone left you for someone else.
There must have…
We must have…
We are less than…

Silence it: Recognize that it’s not about you at all, which means they didn’t leave because there’s something wrong with you. They left because they chose to leave and they are 100% responsible for that choice.

It’s not that there’s never a good reason to leave.
If you physically abuse someone, you deserve to get left.
And you deserve to go get help so you can stop hurting others and yourself.

But it’s more common that someone leaves for another reason.
And the reason is NEVER that there is something wrong with YOU.

So, don’t take responsibility for someone else’s choices because you don’t have control over someone else’s choices.

You can be kind and loving and supportive…and still someone might choose to leave.
There are a million reasons why someone might choose to leave.
And maybe there is something the two of you could have done.
And maybe neither of you did it.
And that still doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

There’s no shame in someone leaving you.
It’s a choice they made and it has way more to do with them than you.

What you can do is grieve, if you want to.
You can choose how to respond.
You can choose to NOT make it about you.
You can move forward in any way you want…because you get to choose.
You get to choose to believe nothing is wrong with YOU.

Let me know what you think in the comments.
If someone cheated on you and/or left you, did you make it mean there must be something wrong with you? Do you still believe that?